Terra Mattson on Joy of It: "Trust and Boundaries”
Written by Terra Mattson
Confession: I have crossed boundaries. More specifically, I have crossed my sister's boundaries.
I am the older sister by four and a half years. My sister always had impeccable taste (and still does). Because I was older, I somehow thought it was okay to enter her room without permission and take what I wanted from her closet, with little to no consideration of her boundaries, her desires, or even a basic awareness as to whether or not she was planning to wear those clothes and might be looking for them herself.
IT WAS SELFISH.
At certain points in life, all humans act out of selfishness. Perhaps some more than others, but human nature is bent this way (see Genesis - Revelations).
Psychology suggests that some of us are wired to care more about small indiscretions than others. For example, if we were all in a room right now hearing this story, half of you might wonder, "What's the big deal? You're sisters. Clothes are meant to be shared. As long as you put them back, what's the harm?"
The other half of the room would cringe and question, "Who does that sort of thing? You need to ask permission if you borrow her things. What if that was her favorite shirt, and she had plans to wear it?" As I raise two teenage girls of my own, this issue confronts me regularly: To borrow or not to borrow? That is the question.
While borrowing someone's clothes without asking isn't the worst possible offense, it does call to question a bigger issue: trust and boundaries.
